


trial by fire

by guide_to_the_galaxy



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Brotherly Angst, Brotherly Bonding, Family, Family Feels, Gen, in which jo subtley shades some of the fandom, in which raph realizes mikey isn't a child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-18 09:14:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21508687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guide_to_the_galaxy/pseuds/guide_to_the_galaxy
Summary: Mikey takes an important rite of passage and Raph has a hard time adjusting.Or: the trials of growing whilst being smothered.
Relationships: Michelangelo & Raphael (TMNT)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 143





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rosa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosa/gifts).



> another commission for my pal rosa! this fic is super special because I have been DYING to do a fic about mikey and raph's dynamic for the longest time!

_“Mikey, on your six!”_

_“Yeah, yeah I gotcha.”_

They work as a unit, Mikey hardly needs Raph’s warning to know he’s got Foot Ninja flanking him on either side, and the whole ‘speaking without speaking’ came just as naturally as anything else that they did and learned together.

(Pops hates it though; once they figured out how to keep their mental channels locked and exclusive it was pretty much curtains for Splinter. )

Mikey moves fast on his feet, and expels the fire from his core to his kurisama, the flames racing down the chain in a bright, hot glow. It scorches enemies as he runs, keeping a tight grip on his weapons. And it feels like another artform, something else that Mikey’s gotten to master.

 _“Mikey cool down a bit,”_ Raph transmits to him from somewhere two rooftops away.

He’s got a higher vantage point of Mikey, and Michelangelo wonders if Raph does that shit on purpose.

_“If I cool down these guys get the one-up.”_

_Stay out of my head,_ he thinks, and hopes that it filters out and doesn’t exactly _reach_ Raph’s head. But he’s sure his tone conveys it enough.

_“Yeah but-”_

_“Hey, less talkie, more smash these guys to bitsies, okay? Focus,”_ Leo calls from the headspace they all share.

Donnie is quiet, as usual. He typically is when they’re locked in each other’s mind. It’s either silence or a burst of ideas and their brother hasn’t quite found his balance just yet. Which is fine. There’s hardly anything that Donnie _hasn’t_ cracked in some eventuality.

Mikey is so in his own mind and thinking though, his flames still flickering behind on the rooftop, that he doesn’t realize until now how _much_ of a fire he’s made, origami ninja still burning around him.

He can’t see his brothers through the smoke, through hot fire of reds and blues. He can’t see much of anything.

 _“Michael.”_ There’s Donnie. _“Not to nag, but you should probably get out of there.”_

He steadies himself. He’s terrified and he hopes his brothers don’t feel that. But he stands his ground, in the midst of the fire.

_“I’m fi-”_

The thought escapes him. A Foot Ninja slashes his cheek and Mikey stumbles. He only has time to summon up more fire, but not before the paper ninja slams heavy fist into Mikey’s face.

* * *

The Jitsu brothers were never about taking sides, there was simply no division between what they had, close knit, tried and true. But Raph wouldn’t lie and say that Mikey held no special place, for his own reasons.

It was the same with Donnie and Leo, only they weren’t his youngest siblings; he loves them to pieces of course, but they’re established and (loveably his) assholes, and their youngest brother’s just…different. His moral compass is _hilariously_ wide ranging and maybe there’s just something unique about thirteen year olds that made them particularly enjoyable to be around.

Raph figures he and his other two siblings have reached a point in their own selves where they’ve got certain responsibilities and outlooks and things, and Mikey just…hasn’t yet. Raph almost intends on keeping it that way.

His youngest brother shouldn’t have to know the world could hate them, or that he was so different, or see the byproducts of those things. If it weren’t for Mikey’s unparalleled agility and undying stubbornness to be equally a part of this as his brothers were, maybe Raph wouldn’t even have let his brother in the fight at all.

He won’t voice that, though. He doesn’t really have to.

“‘M not a baby, Raph,” Mikey tells him, at thirteen and two months, arms crossed and something hurt in the way he guards himself, “You gotta stop treating me like I can’t _handle_ myself out there, man.”

He’s nursing an oozing scar on his cheek and a busted lip that wants to contradict that, but Raph knows it still doesn’t. Mikey’s right. Even if everything in Raph says otherwise.

It’s not that Raph doesn’t believe Mikey, but he’ll throw himself between his brother and danger in a heartbeat; he’ll blame it on instinct later and all that, but Mikey’s getting as bad as Donnie with not putting up with bullshit.

He swallows, and nods, patting his brother’s shoulder, “Yeah…yeah. I know.” He presses a smile, like maybe Miley would believe him better if he did.

Mikey returns it wryly, and ducks out of Raph’s hold, throwing his arms around his brother as best he can and giving him one quick, tight squeeze, punching Raph’s arm before he leaves the kitchen.

Raph watches him go, waiting till he can’t hear his brother anymore, and sags against the counter.

* * *

Mikey’s lip heals quicker than his scar but that doesn’t change how Raph winces when his brother enters a room, unfazed like nothing ever happened.

Maybe they’re getting too good at that, at pretending they don’t risk their lives every other night, that they don’t rub shoulders with danger too often. Raph’s guilty of it more than he likes to imagine, but hypocritically he thinks Mikey shouldn’t be a part of the practice.

“You good? It’s not buggin’ you is it?” he asks Mikey as softly as he could, tilting his brother’s chin up to see his cheek better in the light.

 _“Yes,”_ Mikey mumbles, rolling his eyes up at his brother.

Not that Raph all the much cares. He’s got a responsibility, and Mikey’s his responsibility and that’ll never really change. Still, it’s just a little sucky that Mikey doesn’t see it that way.

“Look, don’t _‘yes’_ at me aight? That was some scary stuff…just makin’ sure you’re alright,” Raph tells him, only a little heat to the way he does.

And Mikey rolls his shoulders, cutting his eyes at him. “Okay but you’ve been _just making sure_ , _a lot_ Raph. Like the other _night_ , on the _roof_. You got in my head a lot.”

“What? Mikey, that’s how we communicate now, remember?” Raph says, tapping his own forehead, “Mind melding?”

Mikey sighs, overly loud and more like a groan, “Yeah…just. Never mind. It’s cool,” he says, stepping back under the harsh kitchen light that’ll probably go out soon from how overbright it is, “Am I clear to go, though? No…infectious oozing?”

Looking down at his brother for a few seconds, Raph simply sees…his little brother. Who’s probably trying hard to _not_ be, to not be thirteen despite everything.

And part of Raph gets it. He’s only two years from where Mikey is and only acutely understands the need to be taken seriously.

He just…doesn’t get why Mikey would want that.

“Yeah,” Raph answers, belatedly, “All clear, man.”

Relief claims Mikey quickly. And just like that he’s out the kitchen and joining Leo and April in the den, flashing one uncomfortable smile at Raph before he does.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which two brothers come to an understanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I held off on updating bc my pal had a similar (amazing) fic and idk if there's unspoken rules against posting similar fics asdhfdhbg so here's part two!

He thinks they’re past it. He  _ hopes maybe  _ they are. That Raph gets he’s way overreacting about  _ everything  _ and will make a pact within himself to relax. Though Mikey isn’t sure if that’s even fair to think. 

His brother has anxieties that Mikey doesn’t have to understand to  _ get-  _ if that makes sense- and he knows Raph can’t just switch off the fears he feels. Mikey knows some of it is warranted too. 

But if Leo and Dee get to risk it out there then so should Mikey. And if Raph gets to hurtle himself off of a building to catch Leo stories and stories down, then Mikey should get to use his power too. 

“So maybe I’m not past it,” Mikey mumbles to himself, swinging in his hammock. 

“Which would be pretty inconvenient,” Donnie says, painting his fingernails black in the beanbag chair across from Mikey, “Since you two have to go and get me parts tonight.”

“Aw  _ Dee,”  _ sinking deeper into the hammock, Mikey whines, “Why can’t  _ we  _ just go- like you and me.  _ Or  _ me and  _ Leo?”  _

Donnie blows on his nails, surveying them in the light of Mikey’s lava lamp, “I would love to but ankle is still-”

He lifts his leg, “Sprained, and Leo has to stay and be nurse to me- and Dad.” 

Mikey sighs a ‘fuck’ under his breath, not that he cares whether or not Donnie hears it, but that’s just the way he’s feeling right now. 

“That means-”

“I’ll have to tell ‘em,” Mikey says, sighing further. 

“Yes, unfortunately you will have to undergo the challenge of life that is...communication.” 

* * *

They take the Turtle Tank and Mikey realizes just how huge the space is when it’s just two and not four. Specifically when it’s just two that are totally on speaking terms but also totally awkward speaking terms. 

Mikey just lets Raph play music like maybe that’ll make it less  _ weird.  _

It doesn’t, obviously, because they never just sit quietly to music- but singing along now feels backwards. So they just hum along, brokenly and off tune and Mikey tries to keep his head turned out the window. 

It’s easier than having to acknowledge how many times Raph takes his eyes off the road to glance over at him. Mikey knows he does it anyway, and not really from the reflection in the glass. 

And when they get to the junkyard and Raph hops out, slapping the Tank. “Ready for exploring?” he asks, trying to joke, obviously nervous as hell. 

Mikey hates that he is and so he presses a smile and flashes a double thumbs up. 

Raph’s eyes narrow briefly in concern but whatever he feels or whatever he questions, he shakes it off, pulling bags out the side compartment of the Turtle Tank. 

Donnie made them special, just for easy access and things like that, which was pretty cool- 

“Well I gotta say,” Raph says, cutting into Mikey’s thought and shutting the side door, “We better find Dee some parts, he’s gettin’...Donnie-ish.”

Following suit, Mikey snorts, “He’s just tired of being cooped up with Pops breathing down his back.”

Accepting a bag from Raph, he shakes it open, “I get it.” 

And Raph looks at him again, pausing for a moment like he wants to say something. Or like he just  _ got  _ what Mikey was saying. 

Mikey keeps his eyes down, knowing what he was implying and that Raph caught it, unfortunately. 

“Yeah…” his brother says, slow and deliberate, smiling without it really reaching his eyes, “Same.”

* * *

When Mikey is young he looks up to Raph. It’s an obvious thing; he’s the bigger brother, in age and size and he’s got such a big heart. It’s evident early on that Raph’s absolute world is his family, and so Mikey learns from that and makes his world the same. 

Raph gets a chip in his shell for Mikey, diving into concrete, and he holds in his tears while Pops patches it up, so that his brothers don’t think it hurts, but he knows anyway. 

Mikey looks at his brother with stars in his eyes. Raph says it’s what he’s  _ supposed  _ to do. And Mikey doesn’t think it’s all that fair. 

He makes a certain secret vow that his brother will never feel alone in that responsibility. 

* * *

In the junkyard Mikey watches Raph gather parts he thinks might be useful. He’s quiet and meticulous and his eyes are doing that downward thing. 

And Mikey feels bad,like maybe if he would’ve just  _ listened  _ those nights ago, that this all could’ve been avoided. But he doesn’t...necessarily  _ regret _ not falling back either. 

It’s just a complicated thing. Something Mikey isn’t sure he’s got the skill to vocalize. He sorts through his own pile, hoping to find distraction in that when his phone buzzes. 

**bootysh8ker9000:** did you communicate? or find any parts? preferably its both :1

Mikey sighs, typing as quickly as he can. 

**orangecrush:3:** found some of ur parts no luck with words yet :p

**bootysh8ker9000:** well...least you found parts !

**orangecrush:3:** Har har :l

Pocketing his phone, Mikey drums on his knee pads, groaning inward inaudibly. 

Raph peeks over, probably sensing his brother’s dread anyway, “That Donnie or Leo?”

Clearing his throat, Mikey chuckles lightly, “Uh, it was Donnie...he’s happy we’re finding parts!”

“Oh…’s cool.” 

“Yeah…”

Mikey purses his lips, curling his fingers into a fist in preparation as he takes a deep breath. He knows it’s evident, that it’s inevitable and that Raph  _ knows.  _

“Okay….” he exhales, and turns to his brother, “Hey-”

“Can we talk?” Raph blurts out, at almost the same time as Mikey, and they both shrink back. 

Mikey sags a little, dropping his bag beside him and chuckles humorlessly, rubbing the heat from the back of his neck. “You first…” he says, without really looking up from the small stash of garbage he’s collected.

And Raph sniffs in the cold air, and when he breathes out, the frosty air puffs out with force. With the weight of all this. 

“Look, Mikey I’m kinda gettin’ this feelin’ that we’re not? Cool? An’ maybe I’m just...being dumb but ya kinda been...quieter. An’ I don’t want you to think that- that how you feel doesn’t  _ matter,  _ buddy-”

Mikey groans a little at that without really meaning to, and when he lifts his head Raph is looking at him curiously, expectantly. It’s a look that’s not defensive, one that wants to understand, so Mikey deflates a little, gathering his thoughts. 

“That’s...okay, see...you talk to me like I’m  _ nine,  _ Raph. I’m not nine!” he laughs exasperatedly, and runs gloved hands down his face.

Gloves Raph knitted special for their hands. 

His brother nods, “I know ya not  _ nine,  _ Mikey but-”

“And when I. When we were fighting the Foot I _had it,”_ Mikey interjects, and doesn’t care if it sounds like he’s whining, “I really did. And it’s not _just_ you- but mostly you.”

He sees the hurt on Raph’s face and hates it but-

“And I know it’s ‘cause you love me, and I love you too but...it’s suffocating. I’m...like a plant. And if you smother a plant it can’t-”

“Grow…” Raph finishes, offering a soft smile that gives relief to Mikey. 

_ He gets it.  _ And he’s not...hurt. Not in a permanent way. 

“Yeah…” Mikey laughs quietly, and softly punches his brother’s arm, “I gotta hold my own. Just like you do. I wanna help you guys. Not be...babied.”

Raph nods chewing on his tongue, a thing he did when he felt guilty still. And Mikey won’t allow that. He’ll remedy it somehow, but for now he lets himself just be near his brother, and they talk about stupid shit, gathering little parts. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :,) i love these boys so so much!!!

**Author's Note:**

> stay tuned for the next chapters up ahead! dont forget to comment and/or leave a kudos! and if you want a fic commissioned just hmu on tumblr luvs!


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